Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Case of No Smoking

I don’t smoke but my friend Vikas is quiet a bit of an addict to smoking. Well, that’s what I thought about his smoking habit. So I asked him if he could by any chance control his intentions to smoke and thought that an obvious or an honest reply would be a ‘not really’ or just a plain ‘no’ but instead he said a ‘yes’. Surprised by his matter-of-fact like gesticulation in his ‘yes’, I simply asked him how he controls himself and his reply was quiet a stunner to me.

By the way, Vikas on any given day smokes 5 to 6 cigarettes a day but on the day he wants to control himself he smokes only half of them by sharing the cigarette with his colleague. Looks like a simple way to half your cigarette consumption but please don’t jump into any conclusion so fast, our Vikas actually claims that he zeros his smoking intake that way. Now this is how he goes about his trick, on the day he wants to control his smoking habit, he calls one of his colleagues for a puff in the morning before starting their work so that they get the necessary pep from the puff. So, they just take a single cigarette and share it between them and there you go, they are ready to face the day.

Two hours down the line, these chaps get a tea break and have u ever heard of a break without a puff and so here they go again sharing the puff as they did in the morn. Having rejuvenated themselves they get back to work with all the seriousness. Lunch time arrives and after a sumptuous meal they just can’t miss a puff as the nicotine intake after some food brings in a heavenly sensation.

Tea break in the afternoon and time for another puff but this time the cigarette count doubles (common u cant be too harsh on yourselves !!! ) and the same carries on for 4 more breaks until night but each time their cigarettes are shared. So u really can’t blame Vikas here, he has really stuck to his self imposed rule of just smoking half a cigarette each time.

Now Vikas is a genius and a genius of different sorts, he performs worse by controlling himself as his count of cigarettes tallies to be more than twelve half cigarettes. But wait we all are horribly mistaken, Vikas has claimed that he has not smoked at all. Am wondering how and we all are wondering how but our Vikas has an answer.

Here it goes, he says in the game of cricket, while batting, your runs are counted only when both the batsmen complete running the full 24 yards but if they run just 12 then its is not counted as a run. Similarly, when u smoke in a pair and smoke just half then that smoke doesn’t tally.

Arrrrrrrhhhh!!! Who the hell created analogies...?

2 comments:

Dinesh said...

Nice one...Guess smokers are smarter

optimismattheheights said...

intellectually stimulating one :)

I guess i am not the only one who uses such analogies